Post by Coffin Jim on Jul 11, 2008 18:26:19 GMT -5
www.imdb.com/title/tt0104212/
I don't really know where to put this review. The movie wasn't horror and it wasn't a drama... It wasn't really an exploit, although there was plenty of nudity. It was just kind of... unclassifiable. I'll post it here anyway, though, because I can.
Basically, the movie follows textbook loser/sex-fiend Marcus Templeton as he goes about his day-to-day loser activities. There's not much of a plot; the film just plods from one mundane detail of his life to another. Eventually, Marcus gets into call girls and ends up blowing his life savings. I guess the moral of the story, if any, is that sex obsession is a bad thing.
I can't think of too many things that compare to this film, but one is slowly going braindead while being continually whacked in the head with a mallet. If I want to know what it's like to be a loser, I can live my own life. I don't have to watch somebody else's for 98 minutes. And this is the longest 98 minutes I've ever experienced. We see Marcus in the bathtub, Marcus looking at himself in the bathroom, Marcus walking around... every scene drags almost as much as the outrageously bad dialogue:
As inept as this film is, it's a laugh riot (sometimes intentionally and sometimes not). That's about the only redeeming factor. I give it one coffin for being made, one for the copious breasts, and another for the comicality; for a total of...
3 coffins out of 10
I don't really know where to put this review. The movie wasn't horror and it wasn't a drama... It wasn't really an exploit, although there was plenty of nudity. It was just kind of... unclassifiable. I'll post it here anyway, though, because I can.
Basically, the movie follows textbook loser/sex-fiend Marcus Templeton as he goes about his day-to-day loser activities. There's not much of a plot; the film just plods from one mundane detail of his life to another. Eventually, Marcus gets into call girls and ends up blowing his life savings. I guess the moral of the story, if any, is that sex obsession is a bad thing.
I can't think of too many things that compare to this film, but one is slowly going braindead while being continually whacked in the head with a mallet. If I want to know what it's like to be a loser, I can live my own life. I don't have to watch somebody else's for 98 minutes. And this is the longest 98 minutes I've ever experienced. We see Marcus in the bathtub, Marcus looking at himself in the bathroom, Marcus walking around... every scene drags almost as much as the outrageously bad dialogue:
"I wish I could safely pull out my heart and massage it."And the list goes on. Mind you, most of the movie isn't actually dialogue, but mental narration by Marcus. The late Andren Scott (who plays Templeton) has one of the most hilariously annoying, yet soothing voices I've ever heard. I wanted to strangle him, but I also wanted him to sing me a bedtime lullaby. It was some weird-ass stuff.
"My chin is being swallowed up by the abyss once known as my neck."
[after calling an escort service] "$1700 for one night? You should be able to disembowel them for that kind of money."
As inept as this film is, it's a laugh riot (sometimes intentionally and sometimes not). That's about the only redeeming factor. I give it one coffin for being made, one for the copious breasts, and another for the comicality; for a total of...
3 coffins out of 10